From 50,000 Feet

In the past 10 or 20 years, corporations have become far more important to us all. Not just because we have their stocks in our retirement portfolios. Not just because they bring exciting new products to market like the iPhone and MolliCoolz. Not just because their foibles make for such interesting reading.

But because now, more than ever, they care.

I was looking around for more stories about P&G’s plans to sell off Folgers. There’s a lot going on in the coffee game these days. Starbucks’ stock is down, and its founder has retaken the reins at CEO. McDonalds is going to start selling cappucino. The report in today’s WSJ about Folgers was interesting, so I thought I’d look for the press release. There isn’t one yet, but the P&G page had this release instead.

It seems like a generous gesture. What is being sold here? The fact that P&G is an umbrella for dozens of famous brands makes this almost like a guessing game. How fast can you figure it out?

Smile! Make Your New Year’s Resolutions a Reality This Year
Monday January 14, 5:00 am ET

(There must be a clue in the headline; and there is.)

- Start the New Year off with help from Life Coach Laura Berman Fortgang -

(PR agencies are always recommending that their clients hire lifestyle experts to go on local TV news and morning shows to talk about the latest trends in health, career advancement or helping your kids get into Harvard. Laura Berman Fortgang is the perfect example of this tactic. But the sub-head understates Fortgang’s qualifications. She is no mere Life Coach, she is a Life Satisfaction Expert. On her site, you can buy her books, book her for a keynote address, or shop. Her signature product is a red OM Hoodie, a “comfy zip front hoodie with the ‘OM’ symbol reminding you and all who see it to remember harmony and peace in your life.”)

NEW YORK, Jan. 14 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — The New Year is a time for making fresh starts and changing for the better. Internationally recognized life coach, Laura Berman Fortgang, is an expert at helping people make realistic resolutions and stick with them throughout the year. With Laura’s tips on how to actually keep those ever-evasive resolutions, this year is sure to start brightly.

(The clumsy syntax makes Fortgang seem omnipotent. She writes the tips, the whole year perks up.)

“Make a New Year’s resolution for the right reasons, no matter what your change may be. Do it for yourself and figure out what inspires you from the inside and then devote yourself to it,” says Laura. “There are many small things you can do to help you stay motivated, commit to make your change and achieve your long-term goals.” Here, Laura shares seven helpful tips to keep you smiling throughout the New Year:

(Ah, another clue. Actually the same clue. When you find out the answer, you’re going to kick yourself. Hard.)

— Do a clean sweep. Take a weekend to get rid of things from your
office or your home that you don’t use anymore. Break away from
clutter by letting go of unnecessary things once and for all.

(Hmm. If I was a shareholder in P&G — who knows, maybe I am — I might start wondering whether the use of company funds on this feel-good PR campaign might be “unnecessary.” Patience, ladies and gentlemen.)

— Change your look and breathe new life into your appearance. Try brightening your smile with a product like Crest Whitestrips Premium that is only a seven day commitment.

(Clunk! I guess patience is overrated.)

Recent clinical studies show it has 2X more whitening per strip vs. the leading dissolving strips! You’ll smile more, and it will give you added confidence, keeping you positive towards reaching bigger goals.

(With these whiter teeth, I can rule the world!)

— Choose one thing to boost your health and well-being. Instead of the usual weight-loss goal, start with one new healthy habit and focus on that until it really becomes a habit. Then add another. For instance, drink six to eight glasses of water a day, add 20 minutes of walking or add five fruits and vegetables to your diet daily.

(But don’t stop thinking about Crest Whitestrips.)

– Name a theme for your year. Give your year a clear focus and an intention. The “Year of The New Career,” “The Year of the Diva,” “The Year of Getting Fit” and “The Year of a Positive Attitude” are some examples.

(What does this remind me of? Oh yeah, Ally McBeal. Remember, the therapist played by Tracey Ullman who told her she needed a theme song? Kind of old hat for 2008.)

– Do one thing a day towards your dream. Make a commitment to do one thing daily, no matter how small, to move ahead a dream or project.

(If all else fails, whiten your teeth again.)

— Give back.

(It always feels like there’s a word or two missing in this expression. Give what back? To whom? The implication is that your charity or volunteer work is some kind of repayment or restitution. Did your success consign someone else to poverty? Did you steal what you’ve got? Well, then by all means, give it back!)

Raise money or volunteer your time to improve your community or the condition of people who are in need of help. You’ll be surprised how good helping others will make you feel, and motivate you to do good in your own life.

(So, the “give back” thing is really a strategy for your own success. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of giving back?)

– Recruit a cheering squad. Make sure you have good supporters in your
life to help you stay motivated to make your change. Teach the naysayers how to be more helpful and call on your cheering squad whenever you need them.

(”Hi. I know this might sound silly, but would you consider wearing this sweater…”)

This is the year to make a change! For more tips on how to keep New Year’s resolutions in 2008 and for the chance to win one of three grand prizes, a personal session with Laura Berman Fortgang to help stay motivated throughout the New Year, visit www.whitestrips.com.

(The contest is actually a gimmick to get your email and snail mail addresses, and your age demographic, and to get you to take a coupon. This is called “permission marketing.” Sort of. If you win, Fortgang will call you up and coach you.)

Ten first prize winners will also receive an autographed copy of her book, “Now What?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction.”

(I’ll chop off the rest of the press release — the boilerplate.)

What has this press release taught us? As random as the connection between teeth whitening strips, New Year’s Resolutions and life coaches might seem at first, there is undoubtedly research underneath it.

Through surveying hundreds of people, P&G/Crest evidently has figured out the people who would be mostly likely to buy their teeth whitening product are people who feel lost, unsatisfied, and blame themselves for their lack of success.

For this psychographic, New Year’s resolutions aren’t merely a harmless tradition, but a serious business, an annual opportunity to stop being such a failure. The only problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that damnable problem of sticking to them.

Offering up a life coach who sells success, satisfaction and a way to accomplish what one has thus far failed to accomplish will resonate with their yearning to change. Whiter teeth in a mere seven days provides a kind of instant gratification we can’t find in longer-term projects like losing weight, finding a mate or getting more education.

In short, P&G/Crest’s marketers have calculated that the brand’s best potential customers are weak-willed, looking for reassurance and desperate for a quick fix.

Uh, thanks for the New Year’s tips. Now I feel great.

Sphere: Related Content

Tags: Crest Whitening Strips; P&G, Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach, market research, New Year's Resolutions, OM, PR